#BecauseOfBalfe: finding acceptance and self-care during a pandemic
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It has been one month since my last blog post, 30 days since I first hit ‘post’ and put my life on display for all of my then 40 Twitter followers. 30 days ago, I was pretty much non-existent on Twitter, aside from those 40 folks who put up with my awkward and sarcastic comments and overused breast puns (those really were the breast of times, weren’t they?) 30 days ago, I was living life on the sidelines, engaging in the occasional Twitter shenanigans but always keeping my distance; I filtered my posts and kept track of the number of tweets I had, never wanting to come across as overly obsessed or needy.
It has been 30 days since I shared my story (well part of it anyways) and I am still blown away by the response. The amount of love and kindness that I received was overwhelming. While I was initially shocked by the outpouring of support for my journey, I quickly realized that I was not alone; I was just one of many, many individuals whose lives have been deeply touched by Caitriona Balfe and the Outlander community. As exemplified by the comments on the post and the several direct messages I received afterwards, it is clear that both Caitriona and Outlander have brought strength and light to many of us during our darkest and most challenging times.
This year, amongst the COVID pandemic, this strength has been tested time and time again. Each day, our timelines are filled with more alarming statistics and stories of loss and trauma. As the COVID rates begin to rise once again and the politics of the world are placed on display, these stories are more plentiful, often resulting in a collective sense of sadness and shock. I, for one, have experienced an undeniable increase in both anxiety and depression over the course of the past year. Despite the harshness of the world around us, I have found continued comfort in the community inspired by Caitriona Balfe.
For many months, #BalfeNation has served as a much needed distraction and motivation as I continue on through the journey of my life. Since my initial post 30 days ago, this distraction has developed into a sense of belonging and acceptance amongst my Twitter peers. I have forged new friendships based on shared connections and slowly pushed my way through the insecurities that were inhibiting my ability to freely engage. In doing so, I have found a sense of freedom; I no longer feel the need to sensor what I say or how much I say or with whom I engage. In finding this freedom and acceptance within the Balfe Nation community, I began to re-discover parts of myself that were long forgotten, the silly parts and the parts that seek to make connections with others…and this is all #BecauseOfBalfe.
Everyone knows how much of an impact Caitriona Balfe has had on my life and on my recovery process since I first discovered Outlander last year; I’ve been very open about my journey and the ways in which Caitriona has influenced such positive change in my life. It wasn’t until publishing my blog post and reading the dozens of comments that I began to realize the immense impact that she has had on lives around the world. Whether inspired by the character she portrays or by her personable and kind demeanor, Caitriona has influenced a widespread sense of positivity amongst her followers.
If you scroll through the #BecauseOfBalfe hashtag on Twitter, you will see dozens of posts of gratitude and inspiration. Whether it’s reading a new book, listening to a new artist, or discovering more environmentally friendly products, the influence of Caitriona Balfe is expansive. From fashion trends and new products to recipes and alcohol and everything in between, Caitriona inspires the Outlander community to think outside the box and try new things that enhance our lives, minds, and bodies on a daily basis. She also inspires the creation of new friendships and relationships that otherwise would have never existed if it weren’t for the community formed #BecauseOfBalfe.
Over the past year, all of our lives have been impacted, whether directly or indirectly, by the pandemic and political happenings worldwide. Most of us have been stuck in quarantine at some point or another, and many remain in quarantine today. When forced into a situation of isolation and when surrounded by so much struggle, it is easy to neglect ourselves and lose sight of our goals in the process. For me, Twitter and #BalfeNation have been crucial to my mental health and wellbeing during this pandemic. Not only did I find a network of people who share a common interest but I also discovered new forms of self-care, including the creation of CB Self Care Club.
I will be the first to say that I am not always the best when it comes to self-care. I can teach about it and write about it and give dozens of examples, but I always struggle with the follow through when it comes to my own self-care. Like many in the mental health profession, I find it much easier to take care of others than to take care of myself, which often leads to additional stress and anxiety. During the COVID pandemic, I have been reminded of the true importance of self-care, and this is largely #BecauseOfBalfe.
Over the past few months, Caitriona (while also stuck in quarantine) inspired so many of us to practice better self-care and to try new things. Here are a few things I’ve picked up from Caitriona throughout the pandemic that have contributed to my self-care:
Cold showers
Nearly a dozen new books
11 hours of new music (click to view playlist)
Solo dance parties
Vitamins
The importance of proper skincare + NYDG face products
Succession
Lots of laughs
Online shopping (lots of gold jewelry)
Outlander bloopers
Breasts and Eggs puns
Therapy
Squirrels as superheroes
Gin (not FMN yet but soon enough)
The importance of staying informed
Kindness
Driving (just kidding)
New friendships
Cooking (or rather a terrible attempt at a poached egg)
As I look back on my personal experiences throughout this pandemic, I am reminded of the undeniable and positive influence Caitriona continues to have on my life. Whether it’s unwinding after a stressful day at work with a CB Book Club chat or sneaking in half an episode of Outlander mid-day to decompress in between seeing COVID patients, Caitriona’s presence has inspired me to take care of myself and to challenge the limitations of my comfort zone. #BecauseOfBalfe, I feel happier and healthier and more inspired to be a better person; #BecauseOfBalfe, I feel lucky to be a part of this community.
Click here to read Breasts and Eggs and Other Things: the impact of social media on recovery
